I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
