that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
