his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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