i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
