hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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