I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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