did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
