that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
