Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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