I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
