Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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