You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
