Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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