the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
