My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
