***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I look better un-naked...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
