at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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