Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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