these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
