make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
