Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize