So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
