girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
