I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
