I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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