no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
