hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize