I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
