don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
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