So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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