I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think a kid would responsible me up
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
