I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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