i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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