found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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