I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
