Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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