hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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