I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
