we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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