just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
