well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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