Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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