Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
