i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
