Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
