You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
