Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
