just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
