I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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