Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize