so that wasnt chicken after all
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
