): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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