i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
wow bdsm is so cute
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