they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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