So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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