I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
