I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
