she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
